Another Infinity
by BarrelRacer13
Summary: Hazel never planned on going back to Support Group. But a few weeks after Augustus dies, Isaac drags her back. In the meeting, they meet a new boy who lives only for a little girl who doesn't understand whats wrong. In memory of Augustus, Hazel and Isaac decide to make this boy's life more than just for the little girl, at least for as long as he has left. Summary sucks sorry R
1. Chapter 1

**A "TheFault in Our Stars" fanfiction! Takes place a few months after Augustus dies. Just to mess with your feels. I am also posting this on Wattpad, so you should all go follow me! My username there is "HunterOfArtemis13". The story will probably be uploaded there first. =)**

_**Hazel**_

I had not planned to go back to the support group so soon. I didn't want to go ever again, to be honest. It wouldn't be the same. But Isaac's parents wanted him to go, and so he basically begged me to go with him. And so now I sit in those little folding chairs again, in a circle in the Literal Heart of Jesus. Issac was next to me. We were early, early enough that not even Patrick was here yet. Well, he was here, but not here. We saw him -I saw him- in the parkling lot talking to some woman by a car, and by his hand gestures, I assumed he was trying to win an agruement. I had wondered for a minute if maybe that woman was his mother, but I'm pretty sure his mother would look older.

A few other kids sat there, some talking quietly to whoever was next to them, others staring quietly at the floor. I saw some new faces and some old ones. There was a little girl in here now, who still had her hair, which was blonde with the kind of curls you would see on a princess in a disney film. Then Patrick came in with a boy probably around my age behind him. The boy looked a lot like Issac almost. Dark sunglasses, though no seeing stick. He had the same build as Isaac, if not scrawnier looking. And his hair was a sandy blonde, the little amount he had. It was short, not exactly like a buzz cut, but more like a buzz cut that was growing back quickly. He wore black sweat pants and a loose, plain navy blue sweat shirt that made his hair look blonder. He sat down on the edge, away from everyone else, not ever looking up.

As we had always done, we introduced ourselves. Name, age, diagnosis, and how we were doing.

"My name is Hazel, I'm seventeen, and my lungs suck at being lungs. I'm alright." I said.

"My name is Isaac, I'm seventeen, and I have no eyes left, and I'm as fine as a blind guy can be." Isaac said. We both had lied. Neither of us were alright. We can't be alright without Augustus Waters.

I didn't listen to most of the others. Just heard bits and pieces. The little girl was named Marissa. She was seven, and had cancer in her toes. She said they were going to do a surgery and remove the toes, and then she would be better but would still visit because her mother said that it was little girls' jobs to help bigger kids when they were sad. I thought she was adorable. She looked over at the boy with the glasses, indicting that he was to go next.

"My name is Joseph Wulf, I'm almost seventeen, and I have tumors in my head. As long as I'm alive, I assume I can be considered okay." His voice was quiet, and we had to almost strain to hear him. Just before Patrick spoke again, Marissa interupted him.

"Joseph is my mommy's best friend's son. He's the best, like a big brother. But he doesn't like it when I jump on him to wake him up in the morning. This morning I accidently missed and landing between his legs, but he acted like it hurt still even though I didn't land his tummy." She said matter-of-factly. "Mommy says it hurt because he's a boy-"

"Marissa!" Joseph squeaked, putting a hand over her mouth. His face was bright red in what I could only guess was embaressment and not anger. "I'm sure they don't want to hear the story. Let Patrick speak." His voice was quiet again, and he took his hand off her mouth.

"Why are you wearing your sunglasses on inside? I thought you take them off when you're inside." She tilted her head. I almost smiled. She was adorable in her innocence.

"Because it's brighter in here than at home." He simply said. "Now sit quietly for a while. I bet I can beat you in the quiet game."

She got all excited and made a dramatic gesture with her hand as she moved to put a finger on her lips as if she was telling everyone to be quiet.

"Would you like us to lower the lights?" Patrick asked. Joseph shook his head slowly, looking as if it pained him. I could only guess how long it would be before he was taking the elevator.

I found myself unable to pay attention during the meeting. I looked over to Isaac and sighed, and he sighed back, and I bet that if he had his eyes, he would've rolled them. These meetings had gotten no better than they had been. I glanced back over to Marissa and Joseph. She seemed to be trying not to laugh, her face bright red like a cherry, while Joseph still wore his sun glasses, sitting quietly with his hands in his lap and head down.

When it was time to go, I helped Isaac up the stairs and out the door. My mom wasn't here yet, and she was our ride. So we walked around the building to the bench, and found Joseph sitting in the shade of the building, knees drawn up, arms crossed over his knees, and his forehead resting on his arms. Marissa sat next to him, humming to a song and watching some ants.

"Joseph?" She asked as me and Isaac sat down on the bench a few feet away.

"Yes?" His reply was muffled.

"Can we go sit with them?"

"You can. I want to stay in the shade."

"But there's shade over there."

"I'm fine here."

"Okay."

I heard her get up and skip over to us.

"Hi! I'm Marissa, and I know you're Hazel and you're Isaac, and that's my not-really-related brother Joseph, and I think he's lonely and you guys shoud come sit with us so he isn't lonely anymore." She babbled, then lowered her voice. "His mommy says he should make more friends his age, because he only plays with me and I'm a lot younger than he is. I want to help him make friends!"

How could someone say no? I glanced as Isaac, who must've sensed my glancing, because he shrugged.

"Sure, why not." He said. "It's better than just sitting here getting splinters in my butt."

So we got up and followed Marissa, who didn't even glance at my air tank or Isaac's glasses.

"Guess what!" She exclaimed as she bounced up to Joseph. He lifted his head slowly and sniffed.

"What?" He asked.

"I brought them over here! They seem friendly. They're seventeen too!"

"I'm not seventeen yet."

"But you will be. In three days. Remember?" She moved like she was going to knock his head, but seemed to stop and change her mind.

"Happy early birthday." Isaac said, lowering himself slowly to the ground. I sat beside him, and remembered sitting on the ground with Augustus so many times. He would sit on the ground, even though he had trouble getting up with his fake leg. It made me ache for him again.

"Thanks." Joseph didn't sound very happy about his birthday coming up.

"So...do you go by anything else? Or just Joseph?" Isaac asked. I could tell he was just trying to keep it from getting awkwardly quiet.

"Just Joseph. Only Marissa calls me Joey sometimes." He said, stretching his legs out in front of him.

"What do you prefer?"

"Joseph."

Isaac nodded, and we sat quietly for a while.

"So..." I said, finally breaking under the heavy silence. "Was this your first meeting?"

"Yeah."

"What'd you think of it?"

"I dunno. I was sleeping most of the time." His face was red again. Isaac laughed.

"I gotta give you credit! I've never met anyone who can fall asleep in a meeting without Patrick freaking out thinking they need a hospital. Bravo!" Isaac felt around for Joseph's shoulder before patting him.

Joseph tried to hide an embaressed smile. "I've had practice. Sleeping while sitting and not being caught is a talent of mine."

I couldn't help but smile as I watched Marissa run up to the car that pulled up, a woman who looked just like her driving it. Then she ran back toward us.

"My mommy is here, so we'll see you guys later! Joseph's phone numer is 476-8923. You should call him and come play with us sometime!" She smiled, and grabbed Joseph's hand, trying to pull him up. "Come on! Mommy said we can get ice cream! She got a tip today, and has enough for us to a get three scoops, and she doesn't want any, so we can share it!"

"Ok, ok. Just let me get up on my own." He smiled at her as he carefully pulled his hand away and pushed himself slowly to his feet. He swayed a little, and I thought for a second that he was going to fall over, but he steadied himself after a few minutes and followed Marissa to the car. He stopped and turned back to us.

"It would mean a lot to her if you called. It's more of her phone than mine." He said, before waving and getting into the passenger seat after opening and closing Marissa's door for her. I watched them drive away, and again thought of Augustus. If he were here, he would probably love Marissa. And he would probably befriend Joseph somehow, and he would make they're days worth living. I feel like while Marissa is accepting and happy no matter what, that Joseph isn't.

"You know, I bet Augustus would make us call them. And then make us hang out with them, just so that little girl would be happy. What about you?" Isaac said, basically voiceing my thoughts.

"I think he would."

"Should we do it for him?"

"Yeah. I think we should."


	2. Chapter 2

**Tell your friends/family/dogs/cats/walls whatever to read this story! Leave comments on how much you hate it or love it or how much it makes you cringe! Think of this story as kind of like Danisnotonfire's videos. Internet Support Group, wattpad edition. And sadly without the wonderful accents of Dan and Phil. =/**

**Oh, and with Joseph's brain tumors, I figured I should let you know I'm not sure what the exact effects are of it. I've never had it, nor have I known anyone who's had it. And I'm one of those really paranoid people where if I look it up, I'll start feeling like I have it and get really paranoid. Kind of like when you read about Poison ivy, and you start to feel itchy. **

_**Hazel**_

So the next day, I had one of my regular doctor appointments where I go and they check my cancer and say the Phlanxiphor is still working and that my lungs look the same. But then they told me that because a bunch of kids can't go to the Support Group on Wednesday's because of treatments and whatnot, that the meetings had been changed to being held three days a week. So Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. I half wondered if anyone besides Patrick went to all of them every week, but didn't really care. We I got home, I was going to go to Isaac's house and we were going to call that little girl and her not-really-related brother.

When I finally got to Isaac's house though, he was just waking up from a nap and still groggy, falling in and out of sleep. According to his mom, he had been getting ghost paints behind his eyes, and she had given him some pain killers that knocked him out. I never knew you could get ghost pains behind fake eyes, but I guess you learns something new every day. So I sat there with him while he slowly woke up, mumbling occasionally to himself. Eventually he got up and felt his way along the wall, disappearing into the bathroom. I waited for him to get back before dialing the number that Marissa had told us to call.

"Who are we calling again?" Isaac yawned. He was kind of adorable in a puppy kind of way when he was sleepy. Then again, so was every boy. They were simply adorable when they were sleepy.

"That little girl who we met yesterday. Marissa." I said, and he nodded.

"Hello?" Marissa answered, her voice sounding small and confused, but no less curious.

"Hi Marissa. It's Hazel and Isaac-"

"From Support Group! I knew you guys would call! I'm gonna go find Joey and tell him I told him so!" We heard the sound of tiny bare feet speed walking on hard wood floor and what sounded like a woman scowling someone or something in the background. Then there was the squeak of a mattress and Marissa's excited voice.

"I told you so! They called! You said they wouldn't and they did!" She sang happily, and we could hear the sounds of the mattress squeaking and a muffled grumbling.

"Marissa! Let him rest!" someone in the background snapped, and there was an annoyed sigh from the little girl on the other line.

"Joey's mom says he has to rest because he was kept up all night from the thunder and has a head ache. But Joseph always has a headache, and it never goes away, so I think he exaggerates sometimes. How can someone have a head ache that lasts forever?" Marissa ranted for several more minutes, but I couldn't really hear her because there was a crashing noise and the sound of a barking dog and hissing cat.

"Marissa?" I interrupted her rant.

"Yes?"

"Will you be at Support Group on Saturday?"

"Yes! That's Joey's birthday! My mommy says we can bring cookies and I can make party hats for everyone!" Her moods changed so quickly, I was almost worried she had a bipolar disorder.

"Okay, well then we'll see you then-"

"Ehem. I won't be seeing anyone." Isaac interrupter. "Ever."

"Shut up, Isaac." I smacked his arm before turning back to the phone. "We'll be there too, okay? We have to go."

"Okay! Bye! See you Saturday! Imma tell Joey that you guys called once he wakes up!" She exclaimed, then hung up.

"So you just volunteered us to go to the Literal Heart of Jesus on _Saturday." _Isaac groaned. "I was going to sleep in on Saturday!"

"It starts at 5 in the afternoon."

"I know. I was going to sleep in though."

"Right. Well, just sleep in Sunday."

"It's just not the same, Hazel Grace Lancaster. Saturday is the day for sleeping in."

I sighed and shook my head. He sighed back, and we sat there and sighed for a while before I finally left and went home.

I didn't see Isaac again until Saturday. Nor did I really leave the house. It had been one of those groups of days where I had the motivation of a sloth. Do nothing, move slow, and sleep. I spent my days on the couch, watching TV and trying to read An Imperial Affliction, but kept finding myself breaking down into a flash flood of tears because the last person to read this copy of the book was Augustus and it still had his smell on it.

Same thing on Saturday, until it was time to go. We picked up Isaac, and my mom dropped up off outside the Literal Heart of Jesus. When we walked in, everyone was basically already there. We took the last two chairs, next to Marissa who sat next to Joseph. Joseph didn't have his sun glasses on today, and even though he was looking down, I could tell he had some of the bluest eyes I've ever seen. He was wearing a poorly drawn on cone on his head, that looked more like the kind of thing cartoon characters wore in detention than a birthday hat that I'm sure Marissa drew. She was still running around, handing out her poorly drawn hats.

If it werent for all the bright colors and her excited, nonstop chatter, maybe I would've realize how bad of an idea this really was. But I didn't, and I can't change what I couldn't help. As our meeting started, as they always do with introductions and how we're feeling, the first clue came up. Marissa introduced Joseph herself. Of course, anyone would assume this was because it was his seventeenth birthday and she wanted to make him feel speacail.

After introductions came the passing out of cookies and small paper cups of punch that I could already tell Isaac would probably spill on himself. There was excited chatter from everyone now. We had very rarely ever celebrated a birthday in the Support Group, besides just saying 'happy birthday'. Most of these kids had probably never gone to a birthday party.

It was while we were singing that it all went horribly wrong. And believe it or not, this was the first time anything slightly bad happened during a meeting. As we go to the middle of the song, Joseph groaned loudly, the cup of punch falling out of his hand and spilling over his lap. His eyes were clenched tight and his fists clenched and un-clenched as his groan turned into a pain filled scream, and he fell sideways out of his chair, shaking, hands over his head and curled into the fatal position. Patrick was there in an instant, while Marissa stood next to him, eyes wide and hands covering the rest of her face.

"It hurts! Make it stop!" Joseph cried.

"Whats happening?" Isaac asked, clutching the edges of his chair.

"Joseph is having a cancer attack."


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hazel~**_

I don't think we've ever had something like this happen before, and by that, I mean I don't think we've ever had to call an ambulance during a meeting. Most kids would just say they weren't feeling well and Patrick would let them call their parents, and they would go home. But now, Patrick was calling 911 while Joseph was huddled on the floor, shaking and crying and trying to get his eyes out of the light. He was in enough pain that he actually threw up.

"We'll reschedule the meeting some other day. For now, every just call your parents and have them pick you up." Patrick said, going back to kneeling by Joseph, rubbing his back and trying to see what he could possibly do to help. But there wasn't much.

"Who's picking us up?" Isaac asked. "Your parents or mine?"

"Mine." I said, before going over to Marissa. She didn't need to see this. I could see the horror on her face already. "Marissa, come on. Come stand over here and call your mom."

"But...Jos-"

"He'll be okay. But you need to call your mom." I didn't know if I were lying or not. With this type of reaction he was having, I wasn't sure how much longer he really had. Had he taken the elevator today?

"Joseph has the phone." She pointed at him as she said his name. "But when he gets like this, he can't see right or hear right. So he won't know what I'm asking for."

"He's been like this before?" Isaac spoke up.

"Yeah. We never know when it will happen. Whenever it does, his mommy gets angry and so my mommy brings him to the hospital."

His mom got angry? It wasn't like he could help it! Pain demands to be felt, and cancer demands to be cancer! This was no the time to ask about it though. It wasn't any of my buisness anyway, so I dug in my pockets and pulled out my phone, holding it out to Marissa. She took it wordlessly and dialed the number. I could hear the voicemail pick up, so she hung up and handed me the phone back.

"She must be busy." she sighed. "Now what do I do? Joseph can't wake up alone at the hospital. My mommy has to be there so he'll be okay and she can get his medicine."

"You can come with us." I said without thinking. "Try to call her later."

I dialed my mom's number and told her that the meeting was over early and to come get us. She tried to ask me questions, but I told her I would explain later and that she just needed to get here. She said okay and we hung up. Just as I put my phone back in my pocket, medics rushed in with a stretcher, and hurried over to him, asking Patrick some questions as they they put Joseph on the stretcher and hurried out the door, back into the ambulance. Through one of the few non-stained-glass windows, I saw the ambulance rush out, lights flashing and sirens wailing.

Marissa's mom came to pick her up at my house, and my mom invited her in. She looked nothing like Marissa, except maybe her hazel colored eyes and round nose. I guess she got the rest of her looks from her dad.

"So what happened at the meeting that they had to cancel it so fast?" My mom asked. "Hazel won't tell me. Isaac is pretending he's deaf."

It was true. Isaac would simply ignore every question asked about it, and would just sit there and stare at nothing, because he saw nothing. It was almost unnerving how he would do that. We had dropped him off, and he did the same thing to his own parents. Avoiding answering by pretending to be deaf, because he would rather be deaf than blind.

"My friend's son was having...a bad day, I guess you could call it. They said he was getting sick." The woman shrugged, making it seem as though this happened a lot, but there was still that worried look on her face.

"And the ambulance came and he was taken to the hospital." Marissa added. "Mommy, can Hazel come with us? She's one of Joseph's new friends I told you about!"

Marissa's mom looked at me and my mom, leaving it up to us. Before I had a chance to say anything, my mom said,

"That might be a good idea. You guys are new to the Support Group, right? Maybe he'll feel more welcome."

"It probably would be good for him." Marissa's mom -who's name I dont know- nodded slowly. "That would be really good for him."

Next thing I know, I'm in the car with two people I hardly know, heading to the same children's hospital that I went to. I thought about texting Isaac to meet me there, but decided against it. Why should I burden him with it?

The whole ride, Marissa was really quiet, and so was her mom. It was awkward, honestly. I followed them through the hallways that I knew so well, glancing half heartedly at the colorful hand prints on the wall of all the kids who had survived cancer and other deadly diseases. The hands were any color the kids wanted, and on the palm was the kid's name, birthday, age, day of diagnosis, and day of being free of cancer. Then we walked into the ER waiting room, and waited. Several times, Marissa's mom, who's name I learned was Jane, had gone up to ask about him. We waited for at least an hour before a doctor came out and headed toward us.

"You're here for Joseph, correct?" He asked. He had a foreign accent.

"Yes. How is he?" Jane asked nervously, running her fingers through Marissa's hair.

"Exhausted, but comfortable. He's resting now. He should be able to go home in about two days." The doctor smiled a little. "I hear he's quite the fighter. The other doctors say they've seen him fighting for all but two years of his life."

"Two years?" I asked.

"He was in remission for two years. It came back when he was fourteen." Jane explained. That was surprising. I had expected them to say he'd been fighting sense he was two. To have been fighting for fifteen years, and only have been in remission from when he was twelve to fifteen, he would've had to have been born with tumors. But chances of surviving and being as able and functional as he seemed were so slim, it seemed impossible.

"When can we see him?" Jane asked.

"Follow me." The doctor waved us up and we followed him to a small room where the blinds were shut and the lights were off. It was dark, but easy to adjust to the darkness because of the little bits of light that seeped through the blinds. Joseph was laying on the bed, an IV in his arm and a heart rate monitor attached to his chest, beeping steadily in the calm silence. I could see the blankets rising and falling as he breathed. If it weren't for the steady beeping and the rise and fall of the blankets, I would think he was dead.

As we got closer, I could hear him snoring quietly. Marissa ran over to the bed and scrambled up onto it before her mother could stop her.

"Joey!" the little girl cried out happily, hugging him at the awkward angle he was laying at. Not quiet on his back or stomach, but no quite on his side either. He mumbled in his sleep.

"Marissa!" Jane snapped quietly. "Let him rest. You can stay on the bed, but be quiet and don't jump on him."

Marissa stuck her tongue out at her mom, but did as she was told anyway. She quieted down and sat by his head.

"Mommy?" She asked after a few minutes.

"Yes, Marissa?" Jane sighed.

"Is he going to have that medicine again? The same as he had last time?" She asked

"Probably. It's the strongest stuff they have."

"I don't like when he has that stuff." Marissa stated, before looking at me and explaining, "It makes his tummy angry and that makes him grumpy. And I can't take long baths, because it makes him need the potty more, too."

"Unfortunate side effects for the only medication strong enough to get him back to normal." Jane sighed again, shaking her head as she looked at her daughter. "I don't think it makes him grumpy, I think he just needs a break from you sometimes."

Marissa ignored her mother and tried to braid Joseph's too-short-to-braid hair.

"Don't leave it in. You'll make his head hurt." Jane said. Marissa didn't reply. Jane sighed again and shook her head, before looking at me.

"I've been telling her to give him his space ever since she learned how to walk and talk. A teenage boy can only take so much of a little girl who never stops talking. The fact that he hasn't yelled at her yet will forever amaze me." She looked at the two of them. It was clear from how she watched them that she loved them both as if they were her own children, even though Joseph wasn't.

About an hour later, Jane took Marissa for a walk. They both had been getting restless. I stayed in the room with him, and I was there when he woke up. He groaned at first, which alerted me to his waking up. Finaly, he cracked open a blue eye, and then the other blue eye, and was looking at me sleepily, as if he couldn't tell if I was really there or not. I remembered Marissa saying that he couldn't see right when he would have an attack like that. I wondered if that's what was happening now. Did he really see me, or someone else? Or was he trying to answer that question himself?

"Hey, Joseph." I greeted him awkwardly.

"Y...you're that girl from the support group." He mumbled. "The one that Marissa likes."

"Yeah. Uh...how are you feeling now?"

"Numb. But at the same time, like I was hit by a train." He yawned, and reached a hand up to rub his eyes. "How did the rest of the meeting go?"

"Um...Well, all the meetings always suck. We all left early though." I told him. He nodded, and looked around the room.

"Is Marissa here?"

"Yeah, she went with Jane for a walk. They should be back soon."

"But my mom isn't here, is she." It was a statement, not a question. Marissa had told me his mom gets angry when he gets sick like that.

"I don't see why she wouldn't come." I shook my head in disgust.

"It's stressful to her. She gets annoyed that nothing we do to make me better works." He said it as if he was trying to convince himself of that. There were so many things I wanted to ask him, thanks to what Marissa had told me, but I held my tounge. His day had sucked enough already without him having to talk about cancer and neglective parents.

"My mom just gets really emotional sometimes, and wont leave me alone for more than three minutes on some days." I said instead.

Joseph nodded, but didn't answer. He still looked pale in the darkness. I tried to think of something Augustus would say or do. He had always seemed to know just what to say at just the right time. But I was just Hazel Grace Lancaster, and he was Augustus Waters. No matter what, I would never be able to be Augustus Waters.

So I said the first thing that came to mind. "You should come hang out with me and Isaac sometime. Playing blind people video games is more fun than you would think."

I saw a ghost of a smile from him. "Maybe one day."

_**((Next chapter will be in Joseph's POV))**_


	4. Chapter 4

___**Joseph**_

I had to get up to pee for the second time that night at 3:00AM. I had been home for two days now, and my mom has only said a handful of words to me. I tried not to be offended by it, but honestly, I was. I could've died the other day, but she didn't acknowledge that.

I closed the bathroom door as quietly as I could. Marissa's room was right across the hall and she was a light sleeper. Once she was up, she wouldn't go back to sleep. And night is the one time that I really don't want to deal with her constant chatter, because I like to sleep.

I hated this medication. It was annoying enough to get up once in night, but when I'm on this stuff, I have to get up around three or four times during the night is horrible. Not to mention, it's not like it can wait. With this stuff, it's either I don't have to go, or it's 'you-have-ten-minutes-to-get-to-the-bathroom' have to go. No warnings.

Living with three girls makes it even worse. They know to try not to take a long time, but when one of them is a little girl who doesn't understand why she cant play in the bathtub, it's a torturous punishment. I washed my hands and flushed before turning off the dimmed-down lights and leaving the bathroom. I paused as I heard Marissa tossing and turning and whimpering in her sleep. I peaked into her room and was able to see her thrashing around in a nightmare. Unable to stand seeing her like that, I walked into her room and sat on the edge of her bed, putting a hand on her back.

"You're okay, Marissa." I muttered, rubbing her back. Slowly, she began to calm down, but I found myself not wanting to leave her. Maybe I was the only one who realized how delicate she really was. She had gotten sick so quickly...It was just six months ago that she was first diagnosed with bone cancer in her toes. It had started small, because they caught it so early. But already it was bad enough that they were suggesting surgery to remove all ten to reduce the chance of it spreading. If I had a say in any of this, I would tell Jane to get the surgery right away, because Marissa could have such a bright future. While it was too late for me to have a chance at a forever, it wasn't too late for her. I laid down next to her, and kept rubbing her back.

My mom thought that I only treated Marissa the way I do because of my tumors. But that's not true. I was a lucky one, or maybe not so lucky, to have tumors covering my brain but not have extreme mental disabilities. I had killer migraines and horrendous headaches for at least 80% of the day, everyday. I was also sensitive to light and sound and sudden movements or too-quickly changing colors (such as those on a TV), but I could go out on my own and be almost okay. As long as I don't have some sudden, crippling migraine that tends to happen quite often.

I treated Marissa the way I do, probably because I felt guilty about my own sister. I felt like it was my fault that my dad had killed her. If I had only been there, if I had actually stood up to him and not just turned a blind eye to the abuse he dealt her, than maybe she would still be here and mom would be happier. So that when the cancer takes me, she'll still have a child to look after. Because without me here, I worried. When I died, would she go into a depression and pull the trigger herself? It was my biggest fear. My mother was a beautiful woman, and meant no one any harm, even if she tended to pretend I didn't exist sometimes. I wanted her to be able to move on and be happy again once I left her. But I had nothing to promise me that she would be okay afterwards.

I know that my mom cares. She lives me as much as any mother. She's just afraid that I blame her for my sister doing and my father being a total ass and me being sick. I don't blame her for anything though. I just wanted her to be the way she used to, before my step father got hit by the car, and before my sister was killed and before my cancer left for two years only to b return stronger.

I could feel myself beginning to fall asleep as I lay there, and I didn't try to stay awake.

I woke up the next morning to someone shaking me. It was Jeanne, leaning odder me, looking relieved and confused at the same time.

"Good, you're awake. Marissa has been driving everyone up the walls, wanting to go to that Support Group tonight, but she wants you to go with her. only if you feel up to it, of course."

I yawned and pushed myself into a sitting position. "They have one tonight?"  
"Its to make up last weeks meeting." she explained. "You don't have to go if you don't want to. I know those meds make you feel sick to your stomach sometimes."  
"What time is it?"  
"It's seven in the morning. You need to take your pills, then you can go back to sleep if you're tired."  
"I'll decide if I want to go to support group later than." I yawned again, and stood up, making my way to the bathroom.

After I took my medicine I went back to sleep for a few more hours in my own bed. This time I woke up on my own to a quiet house. Marissa would've gone outside by now with her mom and the dog. My mom would be at work. I always liked it best when it was quiet like this. I was able to go through my morning slowly and quietly, without being rushed or bombarded yet. When I was ready, I went outside to sit on the front steps and watched Marissa run back and forth with the dog chasing her. Sometimes, it was hard to believe she was so sick. She still seemed so young and unbroken. She had that childlike innocence that made it impossible for her to hate anyone. She didn't judge anyone because they were sick or not. I wished there were more people like her.

I remembered that girl from the Support Group, the one who came to visit while I was in the hospital. Sure, Marissa probably told her to him. But she still could've just told Marissa that she was busy. And she had called the very next day after Marissa gave her our -well, technically mine- phone number, even if I couldn't talk on the phone that day because I had felt like crap and spent the day in bed. Hazel was her name? She reminded me of Marissa, in small ways. Not so much the oblivious innocence that Marissa carried with her, but the blunt understanding that we were all destined to die someday and that she wouldn't let that stop her. I thought of her invitation to play 'blind person' video games, and almost called her up right then to go try it.

The dog barked, and it went through my head like a bullet. Maybe today wouldn't be the best day to go try 'blind person' video games. But soon I would.

**((Well that was a dull chapter. Sorry. Working on developing Joseph a little more, throwing in some hints of his past.))**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry about how boring the last chapter was. It was kind of a chapter of just to add a little foreshadowing of Joseph's past.**

**Joseph**

To be honest, I wasn't too excited about this Support Group meeting. But it had been at least two weeks since I had that attack and was off the medicine now, so it was easier to go places. I was still a little sluggish from it, but that's okay. I was normally sluggish anyway, now I was little more so. Marissa on the other hand, was anything but sluggish. She bounced around in circle around me, and I just walked slowly so I wouldn't step on her. She would be going into surgery tomorrow, and I would rather not break her toes right before she gets them removed.

She grabbed my hand as we got closer and started to drag me, making me stumble.

"No, Marissa. I can't go that fast." I protested, pulling back a little. She growled as if she was annoyed. I mean, she actually growled at me. Like a dog. Then she ran off ahead of me, bouncing happily and singing words to a song that only she knew. I followed much slower, and took my seat beside her, looking around to see who else was here. They all glanced at me a little nervously, which I could understand. I had almost died here last time, and no doubt they were afraid it would happen again.

I saw the girl with the air tank and the blind boy come in, and silently cursed myself for forgetting their names. That's another sucky side effect of having tumors covering my brain. It had a mind of it's own almost, picking and choosing what was important enough to remember, and what wasn't. Like, for example, I bet you didn't know that Hitler only had one testicle. But does that help me at all in life? Nope. Not at all. Can I remember the names of two people who are trying to be friendly? Of course not. That's not nearly as important as Hitler having one testicle. I bet that's why he was so intent to take over the world. He had to make up for that missing piece, and what better way to prove your manhood than by taking over the planet and eliminating an entire religion of innocent people who seem to always get the short end of the stick when it comes to genocides? I bet if scientists ever had the chance to look at Hitler's head, they would find his other nut in his head. It would explain why he was such a nutcase.

But back to names. I couldn't remember them. And it didn't look like there was anyone new tonight, so I didn't think we were going to do the introductions. And we didn't.

"So how do you feel, Joseph?" Patrick asked. See? I can remember his name, and he has no testicles. Is that just because of teenage hormones, or some inner mental thing all guys have for other male creatures? Some physic connection of some sort? No, because I would remember the blind guy's name. Or maybe they have to be missing pieces for me to remember? I think I may need to get another CAT scan. Or is it a PET scan for the brain? Cats are pets.

"Good enough, I suppose." I shrugged.

"He feels a lot better, because the medicine is gone now and he can sleep better, but he still can't play as much because his head always hurts, but that's okay because I can't play for a while anyway because I need to get my toes taken off tomorrow. But it's okay, because those smart people in labs are going to study them and use them to find a cure for it so less people can get sick." Marissa added on. Her announcement turned all the attention to her as people asked her if she was afraid or if she had anything she wanted to say about it. Of course, she had plenty to say. But nothing negative. That's one of the things I liked the best about Marissa. She never saw the bad in things. Even as she was going to get her toes removed, she was still bright and cheery and telling everyone that she would be back as soon as possible and that she was happy she could help people find a way to stop bone cancer. Nothing ever made her lose any hope or belief that she would be okay afterwards.

I wished I could be so confident. But I know that I'm going to die from this, and it's probably going to hurt like hell and I'll be stuck crying like a two year old with a scraped knee. Marissa had the chance of winning her fight and being cancer free. I can only hope and pray with everything I had that she would get free of her curse, and she would grow up and meet a nice husband and have nice kids and a happy, long life.

The end of the meeting came quicker than I had expected, and the air-tank girl and blind boy came over to us. Marissa wasn't paying attention, because she was busy with our phone, experimenting with the camera. She of course bounced back up as soon as she spotted them.

"Hi! Look what I can do the camera! I can make everything look blue-ish!" She quickly went to show them, completely forgetting that one was completely blind. Then she made an 'O' with her mouth as she remembered.

"Sorry Issac. I forgot. But everything looks so cool when it's blue! Doesn't it, Hazel?" She smiled up at her, and I sighed silently in relief that she had said their names out loud. Now as long as I can remember them for a while, we should be good. Until next week, when I'll probably have forgotten again. But I'll worry about that next week.

"Sure it does-" Hazel began, but was interrupted by Marissa. Again.

"Did you know that hazel is a shade of green? I like the color green, it's really pretty. So's blue. I like the color of Joey's eyes. That blue is my favorite, because it's not dark but kinda light but not too light. Like, you can tell that it's blue and not gray and not those weird blue contact things that people wear because they want really bright blue eyes and not the pretty blue eyes that Joey has."

She spoke so fast, I don't know if Hazel was even able to keep up with her. I barely was, and I've have years of practice in keeping up.

"I know that hazel is the color green. It's one of my mom's favorite colors." Hazel smiled at her. Amusement sparkled in her eyes. Bells rang outside, in a cheery tune.

"Oh, the ice cream man! I got money from mommy today, because she said I was really good at helping her in the garden! Come on, let's go get some!" She turned to run to the door, and it seem to happen in slow motion as she kicked one of the chairs and fell. There was a sickening snap, and a cry of pain as her arm folded awkwardly when she hit the ground.


End file.
